Announcing My New Patreon Page!

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being authentic, creative recovery 6 string guitar 7 string guitar being in the now living in the present releasing the old

        Yes indeedy I finally decided to follow my heart and start the page so I can offer guitar lessons ( 6 & 7 string) and my inner musician coaching sessions! The link to it is here so do check it out and do share it with your friends. I do need to get some videos uploaded on it which should be happening in the next week. 

I had been hesitant to do this,to be honest. My inner critic has been going overtime about my “not having any formal training” when it comes to coaching. Yet- when I look back at my life,I’ve always coached those who have needed it when folks I knew had been down and needed an uplifting hand. Teaching rock guitar my inner critic has been yammering old tapes at me- telling me no using everything in the book from “you’re a girl” to “you’re not a shredder”. True on not being a shredder. However,the type of rock I love to play doesn’t call for one to be a shred queen. 

In truth,most of my blog entries as well as absences have all had to do with my journey back into rock n roll creativity,from the playing guitar to actually accepting it wholeheartedly. For many years I looked at my wanting to go back to playing rock as a bad thing……..like being addicted to something one shouldn’t be. And it had to do with old memories and experiences with other musicians,not the instrument or style of music itself.

    I just recently realized that very thing…..that I had to let go of the old negative past and disconnect it from the instrument which meant I had to also release the hurt and trauma of those experiences. Which meant I decided to quit investing emotional reactions in past events because it was only hurting me. Those who had posted hurtful things about me or were toxic jamming partners probably have forgotten all about whatever they did or said. 

To live in a true present is a gift of mindfulness. Whenever you catch yourself going over the old reruns of negative events in your life,stop,take a deep breath,and release it on the exhale. Then purposefully bring yourself into the NOW.  Do this when you’re playing songs,practicing scales,whenever those old tapes hit automatic rerun. Stop playing those movies in your mind and heart. 

Keeping Up Appearances…..Accepting Yourself As You Are,Inside And Out

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being authentic, being present, rock image, self improvement

                 I think one of the sometimes difficult situations that middle aged (and beyond) rock musicians face is the fact that none of us look like we did when we were in our twenties. For some of us,there may have been weight gain-others may have been in an accident that left them with a slightly different body. Others gave birth,had hair thinning or loss.while others had (or still have) addiction problems. And all of us at some point or another have dealt with stress on some (or multiple) levels. We’ve lost loved ones,watched loved ones go thru challenging times wishing we could do more for them,we’ve more than likely dealt with a lack of prosperity at some point,and the list goes on. Point is,it can show at some point in your physical appearance,and you may be so used to the not-so-enthused and possibly non sparking self that greets you every morning in the mirror now that you’re oblivious to it.  So-what do we do now? 

Suffice it to say the media certainly doesn’t help-ever notice that every actor that’s shown in a gym or exercise equipment ad looks as tho they have no need for it? Most music videos of the up & comings show trim figures. We 40-50 somethings remember when we were those kids. And we were where we were supposed to be for that time. And- just as importantly…………..

You’re at where you’re supposed to be at now in all ways!

I imagine a few of you recoiled or had a quick mental knee jerk when you read that last sentence. If your appearance at present isn’t what you want it to be,then you know there’s more to your musical adventure & you’re awake enough to realize that. Congratulations & let the adventure begin! 

I had a flash of insight recently that told me each of us has a “look” for every stage of life we’re in. And it changes as we go thru our journey of life. For example- I can no longer wear eyeliner on my lower lid. It looked groovin into my 30’s,and somewhere along the way it started looking awful on me. I simply couldn’t carry it off anymore. So now I only wear liner on the upper lid,and I find my 50 something year old eyes look just as dramatic. I do still wear black eyeliner…..because I like it and I can still carry it off. 

My hair is shoulder length-I quit dying it years ago as it wasn’t sticking to the gray hairs I was getting and I felt like I was wasting money. Then an unexpected surprise from the Universe popped in……

Gray/Silver/White hair is now COOL, and the IN thing! 

Which is a groovin thing cause my gray hair has vastly multiplied over the past few years. I have a wide streak down the back of my hair. 

I find playing rock guitar & bass for whatever reason,helps keep my weight in check. I have no idea why because I play for short periods of time-not because I get tired,but because it’s been proven one learns and retains things quicker that way. Something in my mind gets triggered and the weight starts decreasing. 

Going thru the change of life  is a groovin thing too. No more PMS. No more bloating and feeling angst for a week and a half. No more cramping or hot water bottle on the belly. Freedom and a sense of strength of inner self I’ve never felt before. 

For the guys that have had hair loss,find yourself a cool hat to wear. (no baseball or bucket caps!) I mean a cool stylin hat that just makes you feel together. Get more than one. Different colors. Be distinctive. Mysterious. Or-if you’re absolutely comfy with not having that full head of flowing hair you did in your 20’s, you could do what a lot of guys do-shave their head completely and forget about it. It honestly makes guys look a lot more youthful to have a shaved head as opposed to being mostly bald. Just be sure to wear a light colored hat in the summer to protect against sunburn. (and for that-you may need the bucket hat I banned earlier) 

By now you’re getting the drift of direction from this post. Wake up,and if you want change in your appearance,start having fun. Experiment. Want to lose weight? You can do that. Talk to your dr if you need to lose a lot so that it’s done in a safe & healthy way. And if you have an addiction problem,get professional help to get clean. Get the help you need. 

     Liven up your wardrobe in ways that make you feel splendid…….and current. No,I don’t wear leather and spiked wristbands anymore,or spandex. I do,however,have a deep love of 60’s-70’s fashion,which I can now wear as my rockin self as I am freed from the wardrobe confines I placed myself in when I was in my teens & 20’s wanting to have a heavy metal look. 

So go forth and start appreciating your appearance starting now,from where you are now. 

Weighing In…….And Making An Appearance

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60's, 70's, bass, being authentic, double standards, drums, guitar, iron on pa, Jessica Ortner, Rock fashion, rock musicians, self esteem, sewing, skirts, tapping, weight, women rock musicians

     I’m continuing a train of thought that started with my last entry- the fact there aren’t many middle + age women who play rock music appearing anywhere. I follow some FB pages for rock musicians,and frankly,every chick I see playing a bass or whatnot is young,trim,lean & mean. Nothing against that-however,I’m wondering where are the women that don’t,for the moment,have the body they did when they were in their 20’s? (My hand is raised-I’m not sporting the figure I had 20 some years ago) I believe this is due to a lot of shame we have been conditioned to feel as women.

     Again-the guys never go thru this-think about it- Meatloaf,BB King,and members of BTO are well known for the boys being plus size-and no one thinks twice about that as it’s taken as being part of their image. Think about Aretha Franklin,Mama Cass and Anne Wilson,and well,thanks to a lot of social conditioning,the first impression that hits when we see pics of them is we notice their weight……like it’s a bad thing. “What happened to them?” whips thru our mind at the speed of light like a knee jerk reaction on caffeine. I have relatives,no longer trim themselves,that have to make a verbal observation every time they see an overweight person,as tho that person was doing something distasteful. Thru my reading books on tapping by the Ortner siblings,especially Jessica Ortners’ book on tapping for weight loss & self esteem,I’m now seeing overly stressed individuals instead of overweight ones. But-back to the point of this entry-which is:

                                        When did we as a society get to be so dang double minded? 

    I believe this double mindedness is what’s keeping a lot of women rockers from making videos of their playing,performing live,and having pics taken with their instrument(s). Even for myself,I’m still going thru some non acceptance and having inner reactions with certain aspects of my figure whenever I look in the mirror. While I’m working thru that with the tapping,I make comments to myself about these features that I’d never ever say to another person with the same. And it hits me how appearance oriented media has made us. It’s made us dread looking older. It’s made us have resentment for living a longer life……cause we don’t look 26. And it’s made plastic surgeons a fortune,as well as those companies selling their youth serum creams. 

When it comes to dressing up,don’t confine yourself to what you wore when you were a younger musician,unless it’s sincerely you. In my late teens & 20’s,I dressed like an 80’s metal head tho my heart & soul was always in the fashions of the 60’s & 70’s. So while recently I was going in the 80’s direction from habit,I caught myself feeling “not authentic” for doing it-in fact my romance with metal music was long over. I woke up and saw my real love of rock also stemmed from the 60’s & 70’s. So I traded black clothing,spikes & skulls for paisley,velvets,and fringe. And I’ve never been happier. 

Loosen up……….

If I had to pick one “mistake” I see folks often make in their full figured bodies is this: they wear their clothes way too tight,which makes them look even bigger. Now in saying that,I’m not advocating formless clothing….what I am saying is clothes that have some looseness feels more comfy (I know this from personal experience) and it makes one look better too. Not to mention they’re easier to move about in. And it’s healthier for everyone in the summer heat-how many heat advisories have you heard in which everyone is instructed to wear loose fitting clothing? 

Have fun with your fashion! Buy some iron on patches & do yourself a vest or a pair of bell bottoms. Make yourself a skirt out of an old pair of jeans. I have long skirts made from jeans as I had always loved the looks of em as a little girl.I never had one till I made one in my late 40’s. Much cooler than jeans in the summer heat too. Get a paisley top,go go boots,or a sequined blouse. Whatever it is that makes you reconnect with that sparkly you,go for it. Just make sure it fits properly and is cozy. Comfort is queen. 

Then have some pics taken with your drum kit,guitar or whatever you play…..and share them! I just started a Pinterest Board for female rockers 40 on up.  I just learned that for you to do this you need a Pinterest account and let me know your name ahead of time so I can add it to the board so your pic will be on there.