Check Your Wiring And Follow Your Heart

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bass, creative recovery, finger speed, George Harrison, gifted, gypsy jazz, lead guitar, musical genres, rhythm guitar, rock guitar, women in rock

       Did you know you came perfectly wired to play a certain style? I’m convinced that musicians are. The problem is when we don’t realize that and then try to attain the skills and wiring to play a style that we aren’t equipped to do-and that’s where the frustration sets in. Luckily it’s a style of rock or blues you love already. Problem is when you go into denial over it….and decide to go somewhere else musically-which can lead to a lot of frustration and angst. 

It happened to me in the 80’s when I decided to go along with the crowd and forget my love of 60-70’s rock and go into metal. I’ve never had fast fingers. But there I was,in my 20’s,trying to zip all over the fingerboard,which usually meant my left hand froze up in confusion. “Do what???” was the message my hands were sending to my brain. Or maybe it was the other way around. Then I felt like a failure because I couldn’t do it. Then that led to frustration. In retrospect,I didn’t enjoy playing in the 80’s anywhere as much as I thought. I spent a whole lotta time wishing I could play a certain way to be accepted by myself and others,which led nowhere cause my fingers aren’t of the quicksilver quality. Learning scales didn’t help. Neither did so called “speed excersises”. As a result I wound up on bass or playing rhythm guitar,which I wasn’t happy with either as so many chick players seemed to be doing that and only that. 

A lot of players,in the same boat I was,wound up hurting themselves by developing carpal tunnel or some other malady due to pushing their hands into doing things they simply weren’t wired to do. Luckily that never happened to me,despite the fact I’ve had more than one job that had repetitive hand motion as a main duty. 

Recently I made the discovery that by going back to the “root music” I grew up loving,I am totally and gratefully equipped to do. This has created a new dimension of personal music appreciation. I feel like I got my “get out of jail” card. I had myself in a self imposed and enforced prison. Or rather my ego mind did. 

What music did you grow up hearing and just loving? No doubt,depending on what years you were a grade school kid,if I could hear you I’d be getting a huge variety of responses. It could be rock,blues/rock,grunge,new wave,jazz fusion,pop,etc. Whatever that love is,

that’s the genre you’re supposed to be playing! 

To clarify,I don’t mean to say you’re only supposed to play one style. For example, in addition to rock,I have a knack for playing classical and fingerpicking guitar. Key is I can do both well and with ease-which tells me this falls within my “wiring”. (I’m playing Gypsy Jazz too,and it delights me) 

The keys lay in knowing what styles you like and what you’re wired for. Where those two streets meet,those genres are for you. My classical guitar teacher,for example,was also a very talented bluegrass flatpicker. From what I understood from other players,this was a highly unusual thing. The styles were far apart-yet he could do both with total ease and flair. 

So see where your fingers naturally fall,and search your heart to find where the musical inner gold lies. Make a list and check it against the songbooks you already have. Do they match? Are they in stark contrast to what you’re discovering? If so,you can sell or give away the books that are not sincerely you,and then go for the books that are,along with purchasing CDs of groups & artists you haven’t heard in years but enjoyed. I just picked up a used copy of a George Harrison CD & am enjoying it very much. 

Playing Ukulele As A Way To Unblock And Heal The Rocker Within

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7 string guitar, bass guitar, creative recovery, emotional healing, inner healing, removing blockages, soul recovery, traumatic experiences, Ukulele

      Today I felt inspired to share with you an unusual way for those of you who feel blocked musically due to previous personal experiences you may have had which has caused you to shut down in your playing of music,those of you who have gotten swallowed up in the swamp of having been in an emotional experience that was so traumatic at the time that playing your instrument of choice became too much of a reminder of that pain,and caused you to put it in the closet. 

I’ve been thru this experience and it really sent me into a nosedive for a good number of years. Actually I got a double wammy which I was completely unprepared to handle in the space I was in. To state it briefly,I felt pressured to work with a man musically with whom my mom was married to at the time-an abusive alchoholic/drug user that I also personally believed was bi polar. I was afraid if I didn’t agree to be in a band project with this individual that he would take it out on her physically and mentally,and I also feared for myself and the cats I had at the time.

     Also want to mention that I had also worked with this individual in previous years when I discovered his abusive nature. So it was long term track record in which I felt I had to endure his verbal abuse when it would rear it’s ugly head. 

     Both my mom & I were more or less whamdoodled into being with this man again after a woman who we felt was extended family said she wanted us all to move out of state and share a house-right in the city where my moms “ever loving” lived. What this woman didn’t tell my mom & I was that she had changed her mind about the move and once we were in the U-haul driving away,she made her announcement-she was going to a different city to apply for a job and we weren’t welcome. My heart sunk into my gut and I got a feeling of doom. I had quit a full time job I had at the time to get away from a stalking ex husband who had mental problems,and now we were going from the frying pan into the fire. We wound up living with her “ever loving” who had picked up on a new drug addicition- I never knew what it was for certain but am guessing it to crystal meth. We were practically dumped off at his apartment while the woman who took us there took left within an hour of our being placed right back in a hell I thought I had left forever. 

      I’ll spare you the details,but it was the most horrific year and a half of my life. In the end,my mom had died from complications of two broken legs-I believe her fatal heart attack was caused by a blood clot from the operations and being bed ridden,not to mention the stress and emotional pain. I had slipped in water previously to this and had a broken leg myself-for the first time in my life,I couldn’t save either of us as I couldn’t work. She had left this man more times than I can count and always wound up going back to him. I always took her in,hoping that it would be “the last time she ever saw him”. But that never happened. 

My Dad had to come get me as I couldn’t work at the time. We rented the biggest trailer his truck would handle and I chose very carefully what was coming home with me. So he drove from Southern CA to where I was,and I was in such a state of shock the move and drive back home to CA is a blur. I also needed a 2nd operation on my leg as the Dr who had operated on it didn’t use the proper repair method,and five months later, on Halloween of 2002 I went into the operating room to have a plate surgically removed. I was supposed to be up & around again in 6 weeks. Instead the Dr found my leg wasn’t straight,and surgically rebroke the leg in three places,and inserted a permanent titanium rod. I was back at square one. It would be over a year before I could walk and get myself a cup of coffee again. 

Normally I would’ve listened to music to heal and get me through the difficult times. However,every tune I loved that was in the hard rock/progressive rock genre now reminded me starkly of my poisonous ex band mate and what he had done. I couldn’t listen to those albums during this time. I cringed if any of them came on the car radio when I was riding in my Dads truck. In rock I’m primarily a bassist,but I was also interested in 7 string guitar. My Dad had purchased me one,but by this time I was in such an emotional hole I couldn’t bear to play it. So there were years I didn’t touch bass or guitar at all-my guitar just sat on a stand gathering dust. My basses were in a storage unit my Dad had rented,along with my amplifiers. 

Fast forward a few years. I was working part time and some of my then co workers were into ukulele. It got my curiousity up.I had my grandmothers banjo ukulele,restrung it and started knocking about with it. OMG this little thing was fun! And no judgemental attitude with it either. I had the “perfectionism virus” when it came to playing bass to avoid ridicule from male players. But uke showed me…..rather reminded me of the light hearted and joyful way I interacted with music before my mom had ever met this man. I started buying CDs of the music I had listened to during those years- Beatles,Paul McCartney and Wings,The Monkees,the fun stuff. It started a slow trickle of healing within my soul. The trickle got stronger,I got one of my basses out of storage,and another,and I eventually purchased a practice amp for bass. If I hadn’t picked up the ukulele I don’t believe I would’ve had the opening to healing inwardly. I had a long way to go,but this was a start.

     If you are in a similar situation,I really strongly advise picking up and playing this wonderful little instrument. A lighthearted approach is often the best way to let go of previous traumatic experiences and the ukulele can provide just that. It also led me to discover genres of music I never knew I loved like Swing and Gypsy Jazz as well as other music from the 20’s. I don’t believe I would’ve ever discovered these styles had it not been for my picking up ukulele. 

And as a footnote-I can once again listen to the groups that had caused me so much pain,in addition to playing bass. My 7 string guitar needs attention,and I have slowly been returning to playing that as well.