Bad Company, bass playing, Beatles, CCR, challenges, hurdles, inner radiance, intention, Journey, kicking perfectionism in the rump, Led Zeppelin, motivation, only child, play from the heart, rock n roll, Wings
I’ve been reading an awful lot lately- “Ing” and “Miracles Now” by Gabrielle Bernstein,along with “Quantum Success” by Sandra Anne Taylor. (That last one is answering why I’m having such a time lately!)
Self realizations have been bounding in as well as lane changes in my life,partially due to the grand cross astrological event that has been happening over this Spring season. Research has shown me to be a generation X-er,which is bliss to me cause I never fit in with the description of being a Boomer. Then it gets rich.
It’s walked me into the reality that I really am a bass player (ever notice you doubt your authenticity when you’re not “doing” what you feel a “true musician” should be doing?) and am happiest when playing rock music,tho I have a deep love of other genres and instruments. I’m no longer into metal and haven’t been in years. And to clarify,I’ve always consider Led Zeppelin rock,not metal. So I decided to redo myself to reflect who I am now. In the past I’d learn tunes to show off my bass playin prowess-which made me feel like I was playing an intense video game that I was just trying to “get thru”. (I wasn’t having fun doing that) In essence,I realized my playing has centered for years on getting other musicians approval….I’d played to impress other musicians instead of playing tunes that made me feel radiant inside,because most of those tunes are simpler. This came from when I was playin in the 80’s and auditioning others as I felt that in being a chick and being petite I had to prove myself to the “big boys”. Bear in mind I was in my 20’s then but that mindset can follow you forever if you’re not aware of it. I finally had this realization whisper to me a couple of years ago….but it took a year or to for me to hear it loud & clear and actually comprehend it.
So a few days ago I decided to do a lane change. No more complicated tunes for the mere sake of showing that I can do it. I’m only playing tunes that make me feel radiant inside…..like Beatles,Journey,Wings,Led Zeppelin,etc. Another odd thing is that I notice when I play bass,I lose weight tho my eating habits are no different,and no,I’m not bouncing off walls or anything,I’m usually sitting as I’m going thru a tune book to see the chord changes,etc. And a half hour a night is OK. Whatever gets done,gets done. No more marathon playing just to show that I can,”even tho I’m a girl”. Making a drummer either screw up cause they couldn’t keep up with me or forcing them to take a break first seemed to be a mandatory ritual I’d have to do for a drummer to think I was worthy of playing next to. (I HATED doing that!)
Another source of inspiration is in listening to radio interviews of a drummer/vocalist who has been thru very similar life events as myself…….mine being an only child,divorcing,speed shift to taking care of mom during her final health crisis till her passing.( 24-7 caregiving for a year and a half) Orthopedic issues/repair work,other losses,pulling back to heal physically and soulfully,getting it together enough to begin walking forward again….and not just in the physical sense.
I won’t mention names,but it gets to be uncanny. Only thing he didn’t go thru was the divorce…sad to say his relationship ended seemingly prematurely. A one time member of one of those bands whose music made me feel radiant.(and still does) And I don’t believe anyone understands an only child who’s walked this sort of path of personal loss and the inner chaos that comes with it as does one who is also an only child and has walked a similar path. A lot of those blessed with siblings have no idea how good they’ve got it.
Back to playing what makes you radiant inside. Is it bands or styles that you feel wouldn’t be readily accepted by others? Do it anyway. Nothing wrong with switching genres. I’ve found in recent years metal grinds on my nerves where I loved it when I was in my 20’s. So I’ve went back to the style of music that I dug before I went into the metal thing of my youth. That includes Bad Company,CCR,Free,and so on. And don’t feel you need to play “for hours” daily. Quality,not quantity,matter the most. If you get 30 min in a day or night,so be it. Enjoy it. Nurture that radiant self. Make a radiant to you songlist and ipod file. Learn those tunes that speak to you!