Keeping Up Appearances…..Accepting Yourself As You Are,Inside And Out

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being authentic, being present, rock image, self improvement

                 I think one of the sometimes difficult situations that middle aged (and beyond) rock musicians face is the fact that none of us look like we did when we were in our twenties. For some of us,there may have been weight gain-others may have been in an accident that left them with a slightly different body. Others gave birth,had hair thinning or loss.while others had (or still have) addiction problems. And all of us at some point or another have dealt with stress on some (or multiple) levels. We’ve lost loved ones,watched loved ones go thru challenging times wishing we could do more for them,we’ve more than likely dealt with a lack of prosperity at some point,and the list goes on. Point is,it can show at some point in your physical appearance,and you may be so used to the not-so-enthused and possibly non sparking self that greets you every morning in the mirror now that you’re oblivious to it.  So-what do we do now? 

Suffice it to say the media certainly doesn’t help-ever notice that every actor that’s shown in a gym or exercise equipment ad looks as tho they have no need for it? Most music videos of the up & comings show trim figures. We 40-50 somethings remember when we were those kids. And we were where we were supposed to be for that time. And- just as importantly…………..

You’re at where you’re supposed to be at now in all ways!

I imagine a few of you recoiled or had a quick mental knee jerk when you read that last sentence. If your appearance at present isn’t what you want it to be,then you know there’s more to your musical adventure & you’re awake enough to realize that. Congratulations & let the adventure begin! 

I had a flash of insight recently that told me each of us has a “look” for every stage of life we’re in. And it changes as we go thru our journey of life. For example- I can no longer wear eyeliner on my lower lid. It looked groovin into my 30’s,and somewhere along the way it started looking awful on me. I simply couldn’t carry it off anymore. So now I only wear liner on the upper lid,and I find my 50 something year old eyes look just as dramatic. I do still wear black eyeliner…..because I like it and I can still carry it off. 

My hair is shoulder length-I quit dying it years ago as it wasn’t sticking to the gray hairs I was getting and I felt like I was wasting money. Then an unexpected surprise from the Universe popped in……

Gray/Silver/White hair is now COOL, and the IN thing! 

Which is a groovin thing cause my gray hair has vastly multiplied over the past few years. I have a wide streak down the back of my hair. 

I find playing rock guitar & bass for whatever reason,helps keep my weight in check. I have no idea why because I play for short periods of time-not because I get tired,but because it’s been proven one learns and retains things quicker that way. Something in my mind gets triggered and the weight starts decreasing. 

Going thru the change of life  is a groovin thing too. No more PMS. No more bloating and feeling angst for a week and a half. No more cramping or hot water bottle on the belly. Freedom and a sense of strength of inner self I’ve never felt before. 

For the guys that have had hair loss,find yourself a cool hat to wear. (no baseball or bucket caps!) I mean a cool stylin hat that just makes you feel together. Get more than one. Different colors. Be distinctive. Mysterious. Or-if you’re absolutely comfy with not having that full head of flowing hair you did in your 20’s, you could do what a lot of guys do-shave their head completely and forget about it. It honestly makes guys look a lot more youthful to have a shaved head as opposed to being mostly bald. Just be sure to wear a light colored hat in the summer to protect against sunburn. (and for that-you may need the bucket hat I banned earlier) 

By now you’re getting the drift of direction from this post. Wake up,and if you want change in your appearance,start having fun. Experiment. Want to lose weight? You can do that. Talk to your dr if you need to lose a lot so that it’s done in a safe & healthy way. And if you have an addiction problem,get professional help to get clean. Get the help you need. 

     Liven up your wardrobe in ways that make you feel splendid…….and current. No,I don’t wear leather and spiked wristbands anymore,or spandex. I do,however,have a deep love of 60’s-70’s fashion,which I can now wear as my rockin self as I am freed from the wardrobe confines I placed myself in when I was in my teens & 20’s wanting to have a heavy metal look. 

So go forth and start appreciating your appearance starting now,from where you are now. 

Working With Mirrors Is A Good Reflection On You!

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honoring the self, Mirror work, self esteem, self improvement, self reflections.self confidence, self respect

  To develop musicianship,a teacher or book will often mention the benefits of playing in front of a mirror-this is to enable the music student to take note of arm positions and stance. And it can be most beneficial. I’ve learned about a way to work with mirrors to develop the artist within. If you’re willing to try this out,the results may surprise you. We’ll stick our toe in the water to start. Pick up a small mirror,or stand in front of any mirror at home,look into your own eyes, and say aloud “I am a great _______.” (fill the blank with whatever instrument(s) you play)

     What was your reaction? Did you cringe? Feel you were “full of it?” What did your eyes tell you? Did they look scared like you were telling a big ol fib? Did you feel ridiculous while making that statement? Make notes of your initial reaction. Now- we’re gonna go deeper. Look into the mirror,your own eyes and say “__________” (your name),I love you. I really love you”.  What was your reaction to that one? Did you inwardly recoil?

   Because if you did,there’s an amazing amount of people who do the same. It shows we don’t have high self esteem-we lack the ability to truly appreciate ourselves. And we need to work on that. First time I read about doing this was in a book by Louise Hay and it was the hardest thing for me to do-to look in a mirror and utter those words! I felt like if I got caught saying those words, a lightning bolt would strike or something. Now if you’d asked me how my self esteem was,I would’ve quipped it was fine-but doing the mirror bit showed me it was far from fine. My upbringing,as already mentioned,was mightily influenced by a depreciating mother. Now as an adult,I was continuing her work by depreciating myself.

   No wonder people often saw me as a target of belittling and a woman not to be taken seriously in my past-cause I wasn’t honoring myself. So now I work with a mirror daily in concert with doing affirmations. It does get easier as you keep doing it. I’m not to the point yet to where I feel I’ve “arrived”  yet I choose to continue doing this as a barometer for how I truly feel about myself. And I know it will get better.

    So lets go a little deeper. Ready? If you can,try playing or singing in front of a mirror. How do you look…..happy to share the song? Confident? Afraid? Hesitant? Feel like you should be hiding behind a curtain ala Wizard of Oz? This is what your audience or folks you’re auditioning for are seeing.

    So keep affirming that you are a wonderful person. Daily. In the mirror. This will aid your subconscious mind to reprogram itself so you reflect the confident bundle of talent and joy you really are.  Another affirmation you can use is: “I now willingly release all negative programming”.